Fear is something every one of us knows intimately. Even the bravest among us can feel that sudden spike in heart rate when a twig snaps behind us at night, or the jolt of panic when a giant black spider appears on a white bedroom wall. For some, fear shows up before speaking in front of a crowd—heart pounding, palms sweating, stomach churning.
Fear may not always be logical, but it’s powerful. In an instant, it can override our common sense and push our bodies into full survival mode.
My grown son—an adult hockey player who faces large opponents and gets slammed into boards for fun—completely freezes when he sees a spider. Size doesn’t matter. He yells for me to rescue him and refuses to enter a room until the offender is gone. His arachnophobia, a phobia shared by an estimated 3%–15% of people, is real, visceral, and overwhelming.
His fear inspired Book 3, “Spiders” in the Under the Couch series.
Learning Through What We Fear
In “Spiders,” Spencer and Justin go on an under-the-couch adventure and arrive in a town rooted in principles inspired by Jainism and Buddhism—communities built on Ahimsa, the idea of not harming any living thing. Not people, not animals, not insects… not even spiders.
Spencer, still shaken from seeing a spider in his bathroom that morning, panics when a large spider crawls toward him. His instinctive reaction? He jumps off the ground stomps on it.
The town people are horrified.
The consequence for his action is to spend time in a spider barn, filled with spiders, to learn more about the species from a town elder. “You fear what you don’t understand,” the wise teenage girl tells Spencer. She explains that spending time in the spider barn isn’t punishment, but rather an opportunity to learn about spiders and their important role in our ecosystem. Ten-year-old Spencer can’t go into the barn and face his biggest fear – hundreds of eight-legged creatures. He has an anxiety attack. Ultimately, he and Justin must work together to escape the town and find their way home.
Although he isn’t cured of his arachnophobia, he does learn about the value of spiders and the important role they play in the ecosystem by eating insects. Spencer learns that the town crops could be destroyed by all the insects if spiders were not there to control the number. He also learns that only a few spiders are poisonous to humans. While Spencer still dislikes spiders, he better understood them … and understanding takes away some of fear’s power.
Fear in Real Life: What It Does to Us
Fear is a biological response designed to protect us. When we sense danger, our brain floods our body with cortisol and adrenaline, preparing us to fight, flee, or freeze. In true emergency situations, this is essential.
But when fear becomes constant—fear of judgement, fear of failure or disappointing others, fear of the future—it harms us more than it helps. Chronic stress from this fear can lead to fatigue, headaches, skin issues, anxiety, and a long list of health problems.
And perhaps the biggest cost? The things we never try because we’re afraid.
Early in my career, I remember sitting in meetings with ideas I was too scared to voice. I worried about sounding stupid, or stepping on toes, and also of speaking in front of others. One quote changed everything for me: “Imagine what you could achieve if you weren’t afraid.”
That question has stayed with me ever since. What could I have achieved if I weren’t held back by fear … of judgement, taking a risk, the unknown, or of failure? I’ve let fear control my decisions in life.
When Fear Makes Things Bigger
Book 12, “Creatures,” explores another important truth: fear distorts reality.
As Spencer and Justin travel a path they’ve never taken before, the rustling in nearby fields makes them nervous. Their fear grows… and so do the tiny critters lurking in the grass. The more afraid the boys become, the larger the creatures grow—until they’re towering and terrifying.
The lesson?
Fear makes things bigger than they actually are.
Fear as a Tool… or a Cage
Fear is a natural part of being human. But it becomes a problem when it controls our choices or prevents us from living our best lives. Think about how much we fear in life.
We fear death, yet often forget to truly live.
We fear making mistakes, yet avoid taking the chances that change our lives.
We fear judgment, so we silence our voices.
In today’s world, fear is everywhere—politics, religion, finances, headlines. Fear is a great controller. A steady stream of fear-based messaging can make us feel powerless.
I stopped watching the news for that reason. I choose peace over panic. I choose to not be triggered by the headlines and decided not to absorb the negative energy.
A podcast I heard recently said, “The opposite of fear is love.” I always assumed the opposite of love was hate. But the more I thought about it, the more true it felt. When we approach people, situations, and even ourselves with love instead of fear, our decisions—and our lives—change.
Empowering Kids With Courage
The Under the Couch series is about adventure, magic, and imagination—but at its core, it’s about valuable life lessons. The books give young readers a safe space to experience fear, courage, empathy, teamwork, and self-discovery through the characters’ journeys.
My hope is that readers walk away from Spiders or Creatures learning important lessons:
- Don’t give your power away to fear.
- Fear loses its power when we understand it.
- Open minds lead to open hearts.
- Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s facing fear with curiosity.
As the wise teen tells Spencer: “We fear what we don’t understand.” What might be possible if we chose understanding (or love) over fear?